4 Steps to Building Self-Esteem Effectively

4 Steps to Building Self-Esteem Effectively

Life is not a straight or smooth path. Roadblocks pop up, and instead of hopping over them, we may find that we hit the wall and lose sight of how to overcome it. However, there are ways to get unstuck in these cases and move forward with your goals.

First, you need to change your way of thinking. The phrase, “Change your thinking, change your life” is a very powerful truth. If you don’t think that your life will get better, then it won’t.

Once you start believing you can change and jump over the wall, you’ll be one very important step closer to getting there.

However, you can’t stop there. While it’s essential to change your thinking first, you also have to change your actions. As the saying goes,

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

Here are some specifics about how you can improve several different areas of your life when you feel that you’ve hit the wall.

When You Hit the Wall in Your Career

As sad as it is, it seems like most people don’t like their job or career. It’s simply not what they imagined they’d be doing when they were dreaming about the future as a child.

However, nothing is permanent. If you have hit the wall in your career, here are some things you can do.

1. Reflect on Your Talents and Goals

A person’s job doesn’t always match their talents. Sit down and try to analyze what you’re good at—and then try to find a career path to match the gifts that you have to offer the world.

After all, wouldn’t it be nice to actually enjoy what you do for a living and make a difference?

2. Set Your Sights on a Promotion

If you don’t want to change your line of work, then you should think about a promotion. Sometimes people get a little too comfortable in their job. They know how to do it well, so they just keep doing what they’re doing without aiming higher

Maybe it’s time to challenge yourself by going for a higher position. It will help you grow as a person, and it will probably put more money in your pocket too!

3. Start Looking Into Another Career Path

Many times, people just simply drift into a job or career path accidentally and find they hit the wall several years later. Unless you are one of the lucky ones who knew they wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, police officer, or something else that was definitive, most people just take the first job they can find.

If you’re unhappy with your current career path, start looking for another one.

When You Hit the Wall While Dating

These days, the dating world is very frustrating for most single people. Swiping left, swiping right. Getting ghosted. Failed short-term relationships. It can get depressing and cause you to hit the wall.

However, there is still hope if you try these things.

1. Try Different Ways of Meeting People

Dating apps

and websites are the most popular thing to do these days. It can be a good thing to try, especially if you can’t seem to make time to get out of the house much.

If you don’t find success there, join local groups or ask your friends to set you up. In other words, meet people the old-fashioned way.

2. Learn to Read Red Flags

In order to avoid getting involved with the jerks, flakes, and losers of the world, you have to know how to read the red flags with the people you date. They may not always be obvious, but they’re always there.

From treating the waiter rudely to canceling dates, a person’s behavior tells you everything you need to know about them. Check out these 6 Red Flags To Watch For When You’re Dating Someone.

3. Don’t Give up Hope

It’s easy to think that you’ll be single forever—especially if you haven’t had a lot of success in the dating world lately.

It may take months, years, or even a couple of decades to get it right, but if you give up when you hit the wall, you will make finding a happy relationship that much more difficult. In the meantime, learn to love yourself and your own company as that will only strengthen any relationship you ultimately build.

When You Hit the Wall in Your Marriage

For many people, marriage is difficult. It involves levels of compromise and communication that many find complicated, but there are ways to make the whole thing easier and more enjoyable for both parties.

If you’ve hit the wall in your marriage, try these things:

1. Communicate!

No one is a mind reader, so you have to speak to each other about your problems.

Tell your spouse why you’re unhappy—but in a very non-critical way. Talk to each other in a way that will help you get to the root of the issues facing you.

You’ll have to work as a team, and not think of each other as “me vs. you.” After talking, decide on actions to take to make the marriage better.

2. Have Empathy

If you get rid of your “competitive” spirit in your marriage, then you will have to have empathy for the other person’s point of view.

A marriage doesn’t go off into a ditch without two people participating, so listen to your spouse’s side of the story, and make a genuine effort to understand where they’re coming from.

3. Seek Help If Needed

If your marriage feels so far gone that you don’t think you can possibly fix it together, then seek the help of a trained professional. You can learn when it’s time to seek counseling here.

A therapist will help you communicate and make an action plan to cooperate and work on your problems together.

When You Hit the Wall As a Parent

Being a parent changes the way you see both the world and yourself. There are days that are amazing and other days when you feel as if you’re doing everything wrong. If you’ve hit the wall with your kids, here are some things to try.

1. Teach Them Empathy

Sometimes kids act out because they don’t see how their actions are affecting other people. You can teach them how to have empathy for other people—including yourself.

Start as early as possible. It’s easier to teach a toddler than it is a 17 year old. Here’re some effective ways to teach your children empathy.

2. Have and Enforce Rules

If there are no rules in the house, then the atmosphere turns chaotic. Children thrive on structure and routine.

If you don’t have rules, then make some. Once you do this, it’s incredibly important to enforce those rules. This will take some time as everyone adjusts to the new environment and its limits, but it will be worth it once your kids settle in.

This guide on how to discipline a child will help you.

3. Teach Them Consequences

Many people, including adults, don’t understand the consequences of their actions. If your kids think that they can do whatever they want and won’t get punished for it, then it’s your job to show them otherwise.

When You the Wall in Your Personal Finances

Most people have a love-hate relationship with money. They love it when they have it, and they hate it when they don’t. If you’ve hit the wall with your financial situation, here are some tips:

1. Re-evaluate Your Job or Career

As mentioned above, sometimes people settle into a comfort zone with their job or career and don’t think outside the box.

If you are not making enough money, then there are always ways to make more. Re-think what you are doing for a living.

2. Go Back to School

This may sound counter-intuitive as you’ll need to spend more money on school, but getting a degree (or a higher degree) might actually increase your earning potential.

As they say, you have to spend money to make money.

3. Figure out a Budget

Many people have no idea where their money is going. They live in the moment, and then at the end of the month, they have no idea why they don’t have money in their bank account to pay the next month’s rent. To solve this problem, make a budget and stick to it.

These tips can help you keep your personal budget under control.

When You Hit the Wall While Planning for the Future

Life is short, so you might as well have fun and enjoy it while you can! You don’t have to win the lottery to have a good life.

Thinking about the future can be daunting. If you don’t know where your future is going to take you, then it’s time to try these things:

1. Write Down Your 5, 10, and 20-Year Goals

You can’t get somewhere without knowing where you’re going. It’s like sailing a boat on the ocean with no map and hoping the wind will take you to China.

Sit down and visualize where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years.

2. Make an Action Plan

Now that you have your long-term goals written down, you need to make a plan of action.

Write down the things you will do every day, month, or year that will accomplish those goals, and then actually take action!

3. Minimize Stress

Stress is inevitable in life. However, some people create unneeded stress for themselves. Whether it’s relationship drama or overspending your paycheck, some of the stress is within your control, so minimize stress when and where you can.

Final Thoughts

If you feel like you’ve hit a wall in any of these categories, don’t give up. You can change your life for the better through consistent effort and an action plan.

Everyone hits a wall or two now and again. If you use some of these tips, your life will start to improve, and you will be happier in no time.

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Featured photo credit: Joseph Rosales via unsplash.com

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